New Year Revelations

Ok. We all started back to work, school, and daycare today. I told myself that if the kids were OK when I dropped them off (ie: no crying, no "I don't wanna go", no pouty faces) that I would be OK too. I decided that I WOULD be in a good mood despite the fact that I did not sleep well at all last night. I think it was just anxiety over starting back at the daily grind. Not necessarily for myself, but for the kids. Well, I made it through the day without seeing the glass half empty...at least for the most part. The kids were both pretty crabby tonight at which point I started to lose sight of my "I will be happy today" goal. However, we pulled through OK. I made a good dinner and managed to complete a happy bed time routine for both kids. I am now sitting down to relax as much as possible before doing it all again tomorrow. At times, it seems that the daily grind can really get me down. I always find something to worry about during the day whether it be bills, the waiting household chores, or some other needless worry. I am determined, however, to see the up side of my life for the remainder of this new year. I will focus on the fact that my kids do wake up in the morning and not on how crabby they can be about getting ready to go. I will focus on how my long drive to work gives me plenty of time to think and pray instead of how it gives me time to conjure up needless worries for the day. I will focus on the fact that God has provided a wonderful day care for my son to spend time at while I work instead of how very depressing it is that I cannot be a stay at home mom right now. I will focus on appreciating the good public school that my daughter is at instead of on how I wish we had the money for a private education. I will appreciate my job. I will love the kids I work with instead of finding their every fault throughout the day. I will remember my purpose for choosing this line of work instead of longing for bigger, better things. I will be glad that I have dinner to cook instead of complaining over having to cook it. I will cherish the minutes I have with my over tired babies instead of wishing bed time would come faster. I will be a good wife instead of taking my frustrations out on my sweet hubby. I will put my trust in God to provide for my sweet children instead of trying to do it all by myself. Last but not least, I will enjoy, savor every moment of this wonderful time in my life when my babies are young and love mommy more than anything in the world. I will be a good example for them and an encouragement to them as they figure life out...and how bad it can hurt.

One of my favorite plays is "Our Town" by Thornton Wilder. It has an amazing theme of appreciating your life while you can. One of my favorite quotes from that play is: "Do human beings ever really realize life while they live it? --every, every minute?" My promise to myself, and to my husband, and to my kids for this year is that I WILL. I will realize it and try my very hardest to quit taking it for granted!