Selfishly missing the moments...

The reason for this post is obvious from the title...this momma has been way over stressed and missing some of the best moments in life that cannot be redone. Thank goodness the Lord allowed us to get a decent camera so that I can capture those moments on my camera so that at least I can go back in time through memories!

Basically, I have allowed my being unemployed to dim what is most important to me...my family. My husband says I have been crabby for 3+ months...no surprise there. My poor husband. My kids have been troopers....though mommy is stressed to the max, they carry on with happiness. There are so many unanswered questions that I keep aiming at the Lord, but I am determined to step back from my selfishness and remember the two greatest blessings that God has given me. They keep me going. Needing to force myself out of bed to be a mother has kept me from giving into the horrible arms of depression that threaten to overtake me. I realize fully that God has a plan for this family. Once again, my heart and my head are in turmoil against one another. My heart knows the truth, but my head goes on with its negative knowledge of what can really happen to us if I don't get a job soon. Giving it all to God is such a relief...unfortunately my head takes it all back at least 24 times a day....

Ok moving on to my special blessings!

Build a Bear for Miracle's 7th birthday

I had no idea what to get my beautiful girl for her birthday. She wanted 'another doll McDonald's toy and silly bands'. Wow. She is super easy to please, but I wanted to get something a little more meaningful than that. The next morning we saw a build a bear commercial, and I was excited. I knew she would love doing the workshop and wouldn't even mind if her brother had to come along. I knew the bear she would choose as soon as we walked in the door. Hello Kitty is an old time favorite of hers! She  named her kitty Maggie...and JJ named his new rabbit Thumper, 'fumper' if you ask him! We had so much fun! I did not have any trouble getting them to leave the store because we were headed to the hospital to see their favorite new cousin that was only one day old!

A few weeks later, we were swimming with my sister in law when JJ got his first bee sting! I almost forgot to even write that down. I know it's silly...but I want to remember that kind of stuff. He got his second bee sting a few days later. Thank goodness we now know that he is NOT allergic to bee stings!

A few weeks later, we enjoyed a great day at the park. My kids love to play even in the 100 degree weather. We took our water bottles and settled in for some fun. The kids had a blast. Mommy had ulterior motives. The next day we had to go to the dentist...I wanted to distract them because they were both a bit worried!

JJ was a champ about the whole ordeal. He was nervous but showed his bravery quite well. Thankfully, he got a great review---Healthy Teeth!  Miracle was not so lucky. I did not get a picture because they shooed me out of the room to watch through the window. Poor kid! She is super brave though. She ended up needing some pretty scary dental work. I hate the first few years of her life (starting in the womb) that gave her a definite disadvantage as far as her young teeth are concerned. We brush, brush, brush with no success. Thankfully, she is my super brave girl! She hardly flinched. She had to get a treat afterwards. She was so brave, but mommy had an urge to cry the entire time. When people say kids are just your heart walking around outside your body...they are so correct!

Overall, we have had a great summer...or at least my kids have. They even find a way to have fun when we are stuck at home. They have super enjoyed a week getting to see Nana and Papa alot....I have too! We got our entire family's pictures done last night...I should have some to post soon!

I hope you are all having a wonderful summer! Don't be like me and almost miss the moments. They are such blessings if you only take the time to notice them!

Where has summer gone?

Well it seems that summer is quickly coming to an end. We went to Hobby Lobby today and were disgusted to see Thanksgiving and Christmas decorations are already out! CRAZY! I don't know about you, but I am not wishing away these last few weeks of sunshine and freedom. Neither are my kids. Life being unemployed has definitely been interesting. Funny how after learning how to be a successful working mom, I have had to really work at learning to be a successful stay at home mom. Every day is a new day with new struggles. What do I do to keep myself busy? All of a sudden, I am struggling to figure out my meaning in life. How do I learn to 'not work?' I have been employed in some sort of position since I was 16 years old. I am really working on putting my job as a mother into practice. Trying to work with my kids all that I can now that I am home more and trying to give them some good memories with mommy that I could not have done before. It is eye opening for sure. I long for another teaching position to work out, but God has a plan and has not given me a new job yet. Waiting is hard, but I am learning to choose contentment. Thankfully, I have something I can hope in besides this world. What would I do without the Lord to turn to? I'd be lost (and crazy by now) for sure! Each day is a blessing in itself. I remind myself of that often. This new phase in life is going to take some figuring out...but every moment will be worth it! Helping my kids to turn into responsible adults will be my reward!

The Lord is so good!

Meet my beautiful new neice...

Proud Uncle Josh, Miracle, and JJ holding Cynthia on the day she was born

Cynthia Anne McClimon, 7/11/2011, 8lbs 6 oz

Our family was blessed in great ways on Monday when Cynthia entered the world at 3:01pm. She was prayed for for several years, and the Lord finally chose to bless my sister Stephanie with a beautiful child! I am so happy for her because I know how badly she longed to be a mother. I cried with her on several occasions over her struggle to conceive. Stephanie and her husband waited 2 years before finally beginning the IVF process. The doctors had basically told her she would not be able to conceive naturally. God had other plans. I remember the phone call that brought immediate tears to my eyes. She had finally gotten the positive sign on one of the several pregnancy tests she had taken. God allowed them to naturally conceive only weeks before they would start  the long process of IVF. What an eye opening experience to be a part of. God is in control. He knows the cry of our hearts and provides perfectly above and beyond what we ask. His timing is not our timing, but my sisters story is a perfect example of the blessings He has for us!

I am anxiously awaiting the phone call that will tell me whether or not I will get the job I have been interviewing for. Meeting Cynthia for the first time and remembering how God worked in their lives gives me a wonderful peace that He is working in our lives too! He is in control. The waiting is hard but the end result will be a blessing. Whether or not I get the job, God is working something out! I will keep you all posted!



LaMiracle's first visit to her new home and new grammy
Nov 2nd, 2007

Adoption Day, June 2nd 2008

This beautiful girl of ours is turning 7 on Sunday, July 3rd. I was introduced to her so long ago and new that I wanted to be her mommy. God granted me this 'Miracle'! She is a wonderful daughter and sister. She has a bigger heart than a little girl should have. She senses someone hurting in an instant and always offers a hug or kind word. She has overcome so many obstacles in life. Hearing her learning to read and watching her write just thrills my heart. She sang "Shout to the Lord" with some friends in church a few weeks ago. This momma cried the whole time. God has done such great things with this little girl and we are SO blessed to be able to call her ours!

Happy Birthday Baby Girl!

Kids

I love kids. I grew up playing teacher and dreaming of having kids of my own. I have ALWAYS felt led to work with kids. I have ALWAYS felt led to be a leader and a good example to kids because we have no idea what they are dealing with at home. I love being a mother, an aunt, a teacher, and a 'grown up' friend. Most of all, I love getting a chance to help them reach their highest potential. I hope that one day my children will look back and call me blessed. I hope that one day my students will remember their preschool teacher as someone they could trust and have fun with and love. As I apply for new teaching positions, I am considering a lot of things. However, one thing I don't need to consider is whether or not I want to continue working with kids. They are my heart. I think of them, pray for them, love them, and hope that God wills to give me another chance to teach them!

"For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, said the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end." Jeremiah 29:11

One HOT momma...and I don't mean sexy!

My kids had a super fun day today spending some extra time with their cousins while mommy had a meeting. We got up really early in order to get to their house in time for Miracle to go to Bible School at a neighborhood church with them. I knew the church as being one from my Bob Jones University years so I figured she would have fun and learn some good facts about the wonderful God we serve. She did have fun. She had lots of fun aside from one issue that came up in the back seat as we were headed to get slushies.

"They made fun of me mommy!" she said.

"Why honey?".

"Because my skin is brown...it hurt my feelings!"

Her cousin stepped in at this point in the conversation.

"I told them to leave her alone and not be mean to my cousin. I love having Miracle as my cousin. I told them to stop being mean!"

I sat in the front seat driving with a mix of emotions. Horrified---how can Christian kids be so mean to my sweet girl? HOT/MAD----What were those kids thinking? Haven't their parents told them that God made everyone special and that we should not judge based on skin color? Sad---sad that my baby will have to go through 'making fun' like that for the rest of her life. I realized this when we adopted her but it still makes me sad. Determined---to make her bold and un afraid of what people think. I told her to just reply that God made her special and no different than them. I tried to communicate the whole 'heaping coals of fire' thing even though I was mad. Deeply Disturbed---Was I wrong to want to adopt a child of a different race? Am I hurting her by not surrounding her by people of her own color even though it does not matter in our eyes? Will this really affect her for all of her young days? Can I go beat those kids up? Wasn't that a Christan church? Why didn't someone intervene and tell those kids that they were wrong? Should I keep her with me at all times to protect her sweet heart? Should I teach her to fight just in case? Should I....should I...should I???????

Once I thought about the situation, I calmed down a bit. These were probably kids just being kids and kids are mean sometimes. Miracle has already forgotten the situation so no permanent harm is done. She is a strong willed child and will survive her young years as long as I try to be the best parent I can be. I will love her and help her to grow into a good Christian woman as long as God allows me to. I fully understand this to be the rational truth.

All rationality aside---I am upset. I am horrified, hot/mad, sad, determined, and deeply disturbed despite knowing the rational truth. I am mad at those kids and want to teach my girl every good come back there is in the book. I am her God given mother and if I was not horrified, hot/mad, sad....etc....then I would have no right to claim that title.

She is and always will be my baby girl. Born in my heart, not under it. The kid who decides to scorn her color with this momma around better watch out!

Kinda bad day

Three fourths of the way to work this morning, my car decided to give me a really bad day. Josh had to drive all the way from Anderson to Greenville only to find out the car still had to be towed back to Easley. I ended up not being able to make it to work at all and had to drive Josh all the way back to Anderson. So we are one car down, looking at a 5 hour short paycheck, and wondering what exactly God's plan in all of this is. I realize life could be much worse...but right now it is seeming pretty bad. If one thing is not broken---another thing is. Come, Lord Jesus, come!