Last night on the news, I closely followed the story of a lost two year old boy who wondered out of his backyard. My son is eighteen months old, and this story hit too close to home. I prayed and prayed and prayed that this boy would be found safe, but he was found today in a river near his house. This is not my child, yet my heart breaks for this mother and the rest of the family. I cannot even imagine losing one of my children in such a way. The scariest thing is that I allow my children (4 and 18mo.) to play outside without me. I have a very small backyard and it is fenced in. Also, I can see them play from my backdoor, and I always leave the screen door open so that I can hear them too. I check quite often....but you know what? I am sure this other mother who lost her child would say the same thing. She is probably tearing herself apart (as I would be) for that one moment that she ran into the house. I hope she understands that all parents allow a certain amount of independence as their children get older with the full understanding that something could happen. We have to do this, to give our children the space that they need to grow up and be themselves. I keep reminding myself of this though, after this news story, I want to lock them inside and never turn my back on them. The fact is that it is not humanly possible for me to keep these children of mine safe without the help of my Lord. It is ultimately Him that tells us when it is ok to start letting go, promises us that He is in control, and watches out for our children, His too, that we love so much. The hard part is trusting Him. I know that the Lord could choose to call my children home earlier than I would prefer. I also know that He would help me to cope. However, I cannot even for a minute imagine life without them. I have to pray that they will be safe, that God will allow me to keep them and help them grow until I am old and gray. I have to continue on as we do day to day. I have to stay strong for my family and not let my fears overcome me. I have to let my children grow and become independent. I have to let them make their own choices and learn their own lessons. After this wake up call, I am very tempted to do the opposite. To become the overprotective, overbearing mother that children rebel against when they are grown. However, I wont do this becuase I love my children. I love them so much that I have to give them to God.
0 comments:
Post a Comment